The Fierce Winner (written on Nov. 13, 2011) my autobiography...

My name is Leo Vincent Antay Villanueva, Born to Leore and Vicente (where I got my name) on November 8 some years ago. Both of my parents are of Ilonggo descent.  I have two older sisters, namely, Jennifer (the eldest), and Jinky Joyce a year younger than her; I however, was born 11 years later. So I grew up being the youngest and the most loved member of the family, and also, the most left out, because each of them had partners, my mother with my father, and my two sisters who only had an age gap of one year, and it was just me and my toys. 

  I grew up in a small city of Koronadal, South Cotabato until I entered college. I am a product of a Marist Brothers’ institution of Notre Dame of Marbel University from Kindergarten to High School. I currently live with my mother and eldest sister in Davao city and I’m taking up BS Business Administration Major in Marketing Management at the University of Immaculate Conception. 

I don’t think I have any hobbies, I know a lot of activities, but I never seem to carry out any of them, especially now that I am in college (I must focus on studying hard and partying harder). I used to swim, but swimming pools here in Davao are too expensive.I love mountain biking, but I don’t have a bike. I love playing guitar, but still, I don’t have my own. I also love photography, but, well, you guessed it, I don’t have a camera, both of my sisters do, but it takes a lot of guts to borrow from them. Well, I really don’t do much, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do anything, I just can’t afford the facilities and equipments to do them. 

Before UIC, I was also enrolled at John B. Lacson Foundation Maritime University in Iloilo where I took up BS Marine Engineering. My parents were against my choice, they said they just can’t let their baby go. But I insisted. 

As a teenager, I wanted to go out in to the unknown, search the world and search for myself, and college was the best excuse for freedom to me at that time. So I really insisted and convinced, no, I demanded for my parents to send me there; I remembered ignoring them for several days as a protest until they change their old-fashioned minds. And so they did, and as always…I got what I wanted. My sisters were furious about the idea; I thought they were just jealous because I got to go on a “trip”. Well, I finally arrived at Iloilo two months before classes began; to take the qualifying exam, to settle the school’s requirements, and to “familiarize the place a little”. I fell in love with Iloilo instantly, the land of my forefathers. I was living a dream, but like all dreams, it has to end. I suddenly forgot the foremost reason why I was there, I “enjoyed” too much. 

But I wasn’t guilty at all; as the saying goes, “when it rains, it pours”, after passing the entrance exam,  the scholarship coordinator announced that I have already been accepted as a full scholar in the school, allowance, board and lodging included, and that I was sponsored by a German Maritime Company. I was so happy with the news that I immediately called my father and my friends about it, They all sent their warmest congratulations. 

After a few days of exaltation, the scholarship coordinator retracted her decision. Through a mere text message, she asked me and all the other supposed to be scholars for a callback followed by another set of examinations. The processes I went through were exhausting, I tried my best, but in the end, I failed. So I thought, if I can be so close to success and having the time of my life, how would I be able to handle it the one day it has been taken away? And is it still possible that I can take more risks and never be afraid of failing? Failure has always been my greatest fear, and being far away from my comfort zone and friends, I got depressed.

 It was late at night when I called to tell my parents the news, there was also an on-going signal number three storm raging the Visayas region making the moment even more intense, I told them everything, then my mother passed the phone to my eldest sister, and she told me to just go home, and for the first time in our relationship as brother and sister, I thought she was right. I lost my pride, but I gained comfort. The next day, I bought my ticket; packed my belongings and spent the last moments remembering the few dozen experiences that century-old city offered me. I learned my lesson, and left thinking maybe that course wasn’t for me, but the experience was what I truly needed. Then I got what I truly deserve, and I got what I needed...my family.

Once in a while, I still think about how lonely my life was back then. Maybe I was not happy before, and who knows if I’ll be happy tomorrow, but what really matters is, I am happy now. Happiness is a choice, and every day, I choose to be happy. I am still afraid of failure, but as my name translates in Latin, Leo Vincent means the “fierce winner”, so failure may come, I’ll just embrace it, because nothing and nobody can ever take the “winner” in my name. 

The year 2013 will be the year I would hopefully graduate from college. I think I would probably be going to a lot of places since it has been a lifelong dream to travel, I may go back to Iloilo. Swimming, mountain biking, and taking pictures may finally become actual hobbies, I might even be in a band playing the guitar, or I might be working extra hard to afford all the “facilities and equipments”, or I just might stop dreaming, because by that time, I may have already achieved them.