Adamantine Myers: Chapter 5

Cinco

Fragments

“Anyone here?” We called out but there was no caretaker.

Surprisingly, the gates were open. It was heavy and screeching when I tried to open it. Then…

“HALT! WHO GOES THERE?” An elderly voice cried out.

“Don’t show any fear” Ryan comforted.

“It’s ok…we’re just from the camp…they sent us here for a mission”

“Is that so?”

The wind blew stronger and WOOOOSH! An old thin man with messed up grey hair flickered in front of us.

“Campers  eh? No I.D, No Entry…that’s the rule boys.”

“Show him our I.Ds” I asked Ryan. He handed them out to the caretaker.

“Welcome to St. Marcellin’s School of Arts…or what’s left of it…and please keep your mouth shut, classes are going on…” He said that with an eerie grin at the end of his statement, or what seemed more like a warning.

That gave us chills, and I don’t know what we were thinking, but suddenly, we held hands. As if our hands were automatically attracted to each other. He had this simple frightened reaction on his face…he looked scared, but he still seemed princely. I could imagine my reaction, I’m sure I looked hilarious.

So we continued walking along the corridors. It seemed quiet…that is when a hint of light from our torch lightened a part of a classroom…that’s when scary figures started to appear. Ghosts of Teachers at the blackboard, talking and students…some listening, but most of them doing pointless things. I know we were supposed to be scared, and we were actually, at first, but to think that these innocent children died in a gruesome manner, that kind of made me and Ryan more sad than scared.

BOOOOM! There was a loud explosion…the subtle images we saw just turned into an uproar, the teachers and students rushed outside as some rebels rallied down some people pushing them and ultimately killing them.

“This happens every night…souls going over and over on the last day they ever lived…you know when you’re dead, everything turns around, night becomes day, and sometimes, because of anger, wrong becomes right. But Don’t worry about them, they’re just fragments, they’ve all really moved on, fragments just stay and repeat the pattern on that awful day because of the negativity that remained…what you should really be scared about is the spirit that haunts this school, the librarian”

The caretaker showed us the way to the library as spirits pass by our warm bodies.

“Why do you think the librarian continues to haunt this school?” I asked the caretaker.

“You see, the librarian was believed to be pregnant, with father Mercius’ child. Only the three of us knew that…and oh she’s an angry ghost alright. She was the one who forbade any monks to enter her hell. She believed Father Mercius abandoned her. You can’t blame the monk though, if you were a spiritual guy like him, impregnating an innocent lady is a huge offense, and well, he did kind of lied low from the school. Everyone looked at him as the school’s fortress. And he just stayed at his monastery while his school was under attack.”

“You’re wrong, he tried to comeback, but the other monks would have prevented him. He tried to come back many times after the attack, but the souls prohibited him and the other monks. His dead now…and he wanted us to give this to the librarian.” I explained.

“Tell that to her”

“Adam, look” Ryan asked.

We were on the Fifth Floor of the school, and we were already standing right outside the library.

We opened the door and looked up at nobly decorated walls of the room. Books were scattered everywhere. 

“Imogen?”

“Imogen show yourself! It’s me Renden West…your old friend!” The caretaker called her.

CrAAANK!! Books from the shelves started to fall…

“Who’s with you?” A woman’s voice cried out and echoed in the room.

“Just campers…from the other side of the river…Mercius sent them…”

“MeeeeeEEEEERCIUSSS?????? DON’T YOU EVER SAY THAT NAME AGAIN!”

Then a scary Woman Rushed toward the caretaker.

She was wearing a maroon maternity, her belly was already big, and her hair was dark and long. Though she was fierce, she looked beautiful. No wonder the monk fell for her.

“He promised to take care of my baby…and what did he do…he left us, and hid in his precious shell”

“That’s not true…he tried to come back…and in fact, he told us to give this to you, and tell you that he treasured this dearly, I believe this rosary belongs to you” I couldn’t believe Ryan said that as he handed the rosary to the librarian.

“God first” she sighed.

“Whuuuut was that?” I frightfully asked.

“God first”, I gave this to him, and told him to put God first, as long as he would take care of my baby. Too bad he didn’t get a chance.

“He would love to see you in heaven now…all he asks is forgiveness” I supposed.

“Heaven? You mean he’s….”

“Yes maam, and he’d like to see his baby there with you”

There was a moment of silence as she comes into a phase of enlightenment. Her anger seemed to lower down…

“After all these years Imogen, you were mad ‘coz of your own advice to him…I know you loved him, but sometimes love means you have to let go for him to find his own destiny, and his destiny is to be with God, and yours too, if you only learn to let go. “ The caretaker actually made a good point.

“I am ready now…where should I go?”

“Well you usually follow the light, that’s how they do it in the movies…” I said.

“Thank you…and may your love for each other last forever…”

“What?? Huh? No, we’re not ummm…”

“I See him…Mercius…together, at last”

“ummmmm…okay…thanks!” I exclaimed.

“I suppose I’m next…well, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone…you know the way out”

“What? You’re a ghost too?”

“Yeah I am, I was the first one to be killed by those menaces…I used to be the security guard, and the reason I couldn’t move on was because I was the one who foolishly opened the gates for them…I didn’t know…and now that the anger’s been relieved, we can finally say goodnight.”

“What about the fragments?” Ryan asked.

“Well, forgiveness has uplifted the impression on this place, so I guess you won’t be seeing any flashbacks anymore. Thank you lovebirds, watch each other’s backs okay?”

“Were not…together” I said.

“Well, you look nice together.”

And so they disappeared. And like what the caretaker said, there were no more flashbacks, just empty, dark and a lighter atmosphere.

Questions and Assumptions:

Sometimes letting go is the only way to save yourself from drowning…

Love hurts, if it’s too heavy let it go…

I think I lost myself when we were still together…

What’s the point of holding on, if the load’s just for me to carry?

But who’s to blame for every hurt and tears that don’t seem to disappear?

But why cry out for the last heartbeat which you could no longer hear?

-          Excerpt from the Emo Book

ADAMANTINE MYERS Chapter 4

QUATRO

The Other Side

I was shivering when we reached the other side. I stood up straight and looked at Ryan, “You ok?”, he responded with a very delicate stare while clenching my shirt as he was getting himself out of the large ice box. Ryan, as strong and bold as he appeared, was staring at me, like he was about to cry…I saw no traces of his trade mark killer smile at that moment, he moved closer to me, I stepped my one foot back, startled of what he was about to do…he caught my arms and hugged me like a little kid missing his Dad. I was surprised, but didn’t think of objecting his deed, I was shivering and cold, and he was warm and soft, Ryan always had that effect on me, his presence, even without him saying a single word, comforts me… until I woke up to reality…

“Ryan! You’ve got some serious issues man…” I pushed his body away from me and retrieved my dry shirt. And we moved on to find the chapel. It wasn’t hard to find it at all, as candlelight flicker its surroundings; it was in the middle of the woods, not far from the river bank.

“dominiiiiiiiii….. patri….benedictum………” we heard the monks singing gibberish hymns and praises, then I realized that the camp masters weren’t joking at all, we’re really in for some supernatural circumstances that night, and I was with an almost useless giant. But I guess I shouldn’t be afraid, they were monks, what’s to fear? And there really was a wake…”remember, we shouldn’t get caught, let’s go around the chapel” Ryan said. He took my cold hands, blew it with his warm breath first, and dragged me. I couldn’t say a word, I was just staring at him entirely until we arrived at the backdoor of the chapel. “Wait, look at that” he said, “It’s a whole monastery at the back…”Go figure, where do you think the monks would sleep at night?” I sarcastically responded.  He smiled. We sneaked ourselves in the candle lit corridors of a small yet brick-old chapel. Religious statues and artefacts filled the entire chapel, which really freaked the both of us. But what could go wrong, we’re Catholics.

“Hey Ry, maybe I should be the one to get the rosary from the dead monk…I’m smaller”

“Alright, but isn’t it bad luck to take something from a dead person?”

“Maybe, but it is our first task…”

“Alright, I’ll watch out for you, be careful.”

It wasn’t really challenging to enter the altar, I assumed the monks were praying with closed eyes so I was able to crouch towards the back of the coffin. I slowly stood up to see the rosary in his chest, when I turned back and saw Ryan signalling…”eh” I didn’t quite understood him, so I looked at the corpse again with my body almost upright. When I looked up, I saw two big eyes in front of me, so I startled and stumbled on my buttocks.

“Another camper I guess” the bearded man approached me, Ryan came running to help me stand up. “What are you up to now? Don’t you know the other side of the river is forbidden?”

“We are sorry sir, ummmmm father, but we were tasked to do something” I clarified.

“Give me that boy” He noticed Ryan holding the map, grasped it and started reading it. “Hmmmm…brave souls are you…the abandoned school, there are entities there we are trying to avoid boys” he said. “Come with me”…he lead us at the back of the altar. “Did you know that this forest was once the town centre? Everyone used to come here…until…” he paused…”yes father?” I asked…”Until the rebels invaded…they killed anyone they come across with, and even attacked the school killing hundreds innocent children…it forced all of the remaining town folks to move down the valley, leaving us monks isolated in this now dark forest.” “I see, tragic” I nodded pitifully.

“I also see that you’re here for Father Mercius’ rosary…”

“Yes father, we need to give it to the school librarian” I told him.

“Hahahahahahaha, the school librarian eh?” He laughed.

“Boy, you’re going to see things you haven’t seen before once you enter that ruins, and you’re right, you badly need a dead monks’ rosary”

“What’s the reason behind that?” Ryan asked.

“ You see, father Mercius used to run that school, and after that tragedy he usually tried to go back there, but he couldn’t…none of us could, the gates wouldn’t open…and our noses and ears would bleed, that is, unfortunately, what happened to Father Mercius.” The monk explained tearfully.

“Why is that father?” I asked.

“Some souls hated us for leaving them behind, we were praying when that happened, we are deeply sorry, we didn’t do anything”

“But the possibility of you going in is huge…because they do not recognize you…they might just let you in. But please bring his rosary, blessed and used by him, it might enable holiness and forgiveness to enter their dark realm, and finally showing them the light.”

“But would it be ok to you father” I asked him.

“Please, do it…”

                So the monk told us to wait for him outside the chapel, and he’ll be the one to get the rosary from Father Mercius’ chest.

                We did what the monk has said…we were relieved by the unexpected and eerie events that happened. Outside, the wind became thick and frosty, and the night creatures became louder. We were crossing our hands around our chests, we were trying to warm ourselves when the monk arrived at the entrance aisle, he called us, and we approached him. “Please, give this to her, and tell her Father Mercius treasured this dearly” the monk said and gave us a comforting smile and blessing before he turned around.

“Wait father, we forgot to ask your name!” I called him back…

“It’s Mercius”

                GOOSEBUMPS! . “What a night” Ryan said, “Oooooh, I think it’s just beginning, look!” I pointed at an old grey cat approaching us, if anything could get any weirder.  I noticed it has different colours on each eye, the left eye’s yellow, the right was blue. Peculiar.

                The cat passed right through us to the darker side of the woods. “The instruction is to follow him…should we?” Ryan asked, I nodded and agreed to follow the cat. So we walked again towards our next task, to give the rosary to the librarian. Ryan was always silent, I know it was quite normal, since we weren’t really that close, but I always feel awkward walking with him, specially alone in the dark, just like the times we walked together after a session with Mrs. Strum along the unlit paths toward the school’s exit gate…

”Another awkward moment” I whispered.

“What was that?” He responded.

“Nothing, I was just saying…”

“Hey Ryan…can I ask you something?”

“Yeah what is it?”

“Do you feel awkward whenever the two of us walk in the dark…alone?”

I tactlessly asked him, since I thought it was about time to “bond” with my “classmate” and camp partner, and besides, we’ve known each other for some time already, and we never had this kind of talk.

He just replied with another one of his chilling grin and giggled a bit. “What’s wrong with this child” I thought.  Both my hands were locked in my jacket’s pocket, so was Ryan. Somehow I felt secure and needed at the same time. With his well-built body, I know I’ll be safe, with his reserved attitude, I know he needs me.

We were already walking along a muddy path, when…

 I slipped.

“Careful” Ryan was fast enough to grab me, and again he drew me close to his caressing chest. Then suddenly…the winds grew heavier and turned colder, as Ryan helped me get up, flashes of  dark figures passed by the sinister sky. “What was that?” I asked…”crows?” Ryan said…I remembered the task, it said “don’t show any fear, they can smell it, however I couldn’t help but to stumble with fear, after all it was an eerie ambiance to be in the middle of the abandoned woods, and the slip made me more nervous. We stood there for awhile, until I could get my balance, but he didn’t let go, I was safe…in his arms…under the moonlight.

It was about a half an hour walk when we reached the massive gates covered in thick vines of the abandoned school. The grey cat stopped walking.

“We’re here” Ryan said…

“Should we go inside?” I whispered.

I followed him to call out for someone. We were expecting for the caretaker.

“I wasn’t going anywhere, but rather I was pushing myself back to you.

If it was a dream, then I don’t want to see the sun rise, because I know I’m going to wake up alone”

-Excerpt from the Emo Book

Adamantine Myers Chapter 3

       TRES

The Camp

I found myself in the most unexpected place…though I lost myself in the battle of my academics; I won the hearts of those who looked up to me, and for the first time in my life, I felt special…just imagine how you’d feel when charming boys volunteer to carry your bags and treat you like a helpless damsel, although I wasn’t completely helpless. Oh yes…we just called ourselves “the soda clan”, the idea came out during that afternoon at the field, we were drinking soda drinks, and decided to name our new found brotherhood.

Days passed…we spent more solemn moments together under that dead tree, it was too far away from all the hustle and bustles of the school, and sometimes, we’d lay on each others’ laps, as if we were sweet boyfriends. I made sure I had time for them despite my predetermined schedule with Mrs. Strum…we’d even spend some extra time together after swimming practice…it was almost I had given them half of my senior life already. But I’ve completely paid no attention to Ryan Allaster…maybe it was because I was too preoccupied with having such nonsense feelings towards another boy, or maybe because he had always been too distant, too quiet, so I didn’t bother him, “he’s nothing”.

December…

It was already cold, I had my jacket on layered on top of my uniform when the principal announced during the morning assembly that there will be a three day camp for any interested students at the mountains for the Christmas break, my classmates thought it was odd, “why would they hold a camp at the middle of this freezing season?”…”why can’t they?” I smothered…I asked them if they wanted to go, they answered, “we’d be preparing for the qualifying exams on January”…Boring…so I thought, it was our last year in high school, and they’d lock themselves in for Christmas break…

So I asked my brothers if they wanted to go, turned out, they were already planning on asking me. Of course I was excited, three days away from school? With them? I started packing that night.

I arrived early at the rendezvous, the buses were already there, and I noticed Ryan getting in with his classmates, I presumed JB, Joey, Skandar and David already got in. I was startled by the riot I thought I created when I climbed the bus, my boys were yelling “Adam! Seat here!” “here Adam! Seat with me”…I passed by Ryan, he was again smiling eerily at me, so I gave him a sweet smile back, “This is going to be an interesting ride”…David was more enthusiastic when he called for me, so I sat beside him. He caught my attention.

It took about an hour ‘till we were able to reach the campsite. It was in the middle of a forest, wet grounds, cold climate and all, then I noticed the extravagant preparations the organizers had mad, colourful flags welcomed us, and there were guides who directed us towards our tents, I was a senior I had to sleep where the seniors are, though I felt disappointed as I expected to be with my clan.

It was a good thing though that I still got to sleep with two of my co-swimmers so I didn’t worry about introducing myself. We were asked to proceed at the activity hall for the program proper. We were given a card that carried our name, and at the back, was a chart of the fifteen tasks we have to accomplish before the end of the camp.

I had lunch with my brothers, including some of their classmates, and Ryan, but I paid more attention with my extended family, and thanks to them, I got acquainted with more students, thanks to their zealousness. Afterwards, we began doing the tasks together, again I became their coach, and it seemed like their entire class followed too.

My brothers and I talked about me moving to their quarters, I was convinced no one would notice, and besides, there were no camp rules that determined a specific quarters to sleep in, so technically, I wasn’t violating any rules. Then I transferred my things to their quarters, I saw Ryan resting, next to him was another one of his classmates, they were about a few distance away from their classmates.

I decided to go out of their room as it seemed like I was barging in to what was I assumed an “intimate moment”.

The day ended, and we were about to have dinner around the bonfire. I spent the whole day with my “clan” and we’ve already accomplished 5 tasks together. Ryan and his special friend, Clyde were still distant from all of us. They seemed to enjoy their own world.

Barbecue for dinner, under the stars, around a bonfire, and with my boys, nothing could’ve been more perfect. We sang and stomped our feet to the beat of the drums around the fire. It was already ten PM, and we were asked to accomplish two tasks before bedtime. And we have to do it by pair, and to find a partner, we’d have to be blindfolded and find the first person who’d catch us first, and shout “HO HEY!!!”

And so the camp leaders blindfolded us, and we waited for the camp master’s signal. “Alright campers, listen, before starting your tasks, I want you to know, that your partner for tonight we’ll be the same partner you’ll have for the tasks tonight until tomorrow evening, they will also serve as your guardian, so if anything happens to you, your partner will be held accountable for. So whoever you may fall into, watch their backs, ‘coz you’ll be dealing with dark forces and grave consequences the entire camp. And please remember, teamwork encompasses any obstacle, but the love for your teammate overcomes any failure. First team to finish first gets free chocolates!! On three! Turn around then find your partner!!! ONE…TWO…THREE!!!

I could only see the light coming from the bonfire, but everything was dark…I could hear their feet, stomping the rocky grounds. My hands were stretched, so I could easily find my partner. It took a while for me to find one, until…I felt hands, smooth and cold fingers were reaching for mine, I touched the arms and realized it was a boy, he did the same, but it seemed as if he was caressing my arms, till he touched my shoulders, my neck, then he fondled over my face, and sensed my lips. Suddenly he pulled me towards his chest.

“Okay, hold your partners and take off your blindfolds!” the camp master ordered. I moved away from the boy’s warm caress, and took my blindfold off, “YOU???” we both said with great surprise. It was Ryan…the reincarnation of Adonis, the demi god.

“Well you look disappointed…were you vying for someone else? A girl maybe?” I said, though I had a feeling he was looking out for his Buddy Clyde, who’s now with JB. “No” he said with an intense expression of denial on his face.

“Ok, you only need to finish two tasks tonight, each task is different from the other groups, so don’t expect to be seeing your friends tonight, it’s only you and your partner. Now get your maps from your leaders and run as fast as you can!! I hurriedly reached out for a map, but I was caught up on a stampede. Ryan didn’t even help me. When I finally got close to the camp leader, everyone was already running away, so I got the last map that I found on the ground, it was partially torn and withered. “Hope you could read this one” , I gave it to Ryan, he seemed relaxed, while I was panting.

“To accomplish the first task, you need to cross the river to find a chapel, in the chapel, there will be a wake watched over by mourning monks. At the altar, there will be a Dead friar holding a rosary on his chest. Get that rosary without being caught by the mourning monks.” “WhaaaAAAt??? A dead monk’s wake and stealing a rosary? Are they insane?? “ I exclaimed, “That’s what’s written here, look” Ryan replied…

That’s the first task. “NOTE: In the event of being caught, please blow whistle to call out for a camp marshal, if not, proceed to the next task.” “The next task is to go to an abandoned school and look for the librarian, give her the rosary so she would stamp your task chart to validate your accomplishment. An old grey cat will lead you to the abandoned school. Note: Don’t show your fear, they can smell it” “They? Who are they?? What is this? A horror movie?” I cried. Ryan continued reading…”At the school’s gate, give the cat a treat to show your gratitude. Do not call out for anybody except the school’s caretaker, he may be sleeping at the guard’s house beside the gate. Ask him where to find the librarian. NOTE: NO I.D, NO ENTRY, and KEEP QUIET, CLASSES ARE GOING ON. Follow the moonlight to get back to camp.”

“These tasks are unbelievable”

But then I remembered the camp master warning us that we’d be facing dark forces and grave consequences for tonight’s tasks. Yeah right…suddenly, the wind blew cold, that’s when I started to have a bad feeling.

“A solemn cry, deep inside my heart,

The greatest fear you could ever have imagined,

Lingered in me for a while…”

Excerpt from the Emo Book

It was about half past nine, it was already cold, and the trees looked as if they were thin giants swaying with the winter wind. We ran fast ‘till we reached the river bank. The river was wide and calm, and I always knew that calm waters run deep. We only had two problems…there were no boats; and Ryan couldn’t swim. There was only one empty ice box tied on a rope that some campers may have left, and that gave me a silly but effective idea: Let Ryan ride on the box, and me pulling it with the rope.

At first Ryan hesitated, he knows he’s a lot heavier, but among the two of us, I was the varsity swimmer, he had no choice. He still doesn’t like the idea, he didn’t seem to trust how good a swimmer I was. So I took my shirt, plunged the box in the water, and said “C’mon, if something happens to you, I’d be the one to blame, besides, we might be behind the others…I’ll get you through  this time.” So he agreed. He looked kind of funny as he was struggling to fit his long legs bent in the ice box, but I thought he could manage.”

The river was not at all that deep as expected, the deepest part was only shoulder level, although a non -swimmer could have already drowned by slipping. I glanced at Ryan, I saw fear in his eyes, he looked at me and asked “are you ok there?” “Yeah, are you?” I asked him back, we looked at each other for some time as I dragged the box across the middle of the river, then…”Adam!!!” Ryan yelled, I scared the brains out of him by pretending to be drowned, He was worried sick which gave me a little sense of importance.

“Don’t you ever do that again Adam, I didn’t like that at all”, he was really pissed off by my humour and I didn’t expect he was that scared. I swam across that cold murky river, trying to pull the my heavy baggage and fighting the heavy flow of water.

“The moonlight in shadows, like what my heart feels without feelings,

Asking why all tears shed, at the time you said we’re through, how I wish I was dead,

I know that’s what you wanted too…”

-          Excerpt from the Emo Book.

Adamantine Myers: Chapter Two

Dos

The Clan

The next afternoon I went to practice, there were new recruits, coach Dominic introduced the rookies one by one and told us to warm them up. There were about seven of us including Liam at the competitive level, I was the black sheep ‘coz I never favoured competitions…I usually got nervous and stiffen up, so I could hardly kick, but during practices, I was one of the best.

 Anyway, I was tasked to lead four of the rookies. There was JB, Skandar, David and Joey, the rest of the seniors taught the rest. They looked fit in their tight swimming trunks, slender and well, pretty for rookies, three of them were taller than me. At first they were irritating, they didn’t seem serious with me, I felt a little disrespected so I told them to plunge in. I signalled them to start swimming, turned out they were already good, just needed a little bit of coaching on the right strokes. So I let them swim and I  had a few laps myself. It was already around six when we finished exhausting ourselves, quite early than the usual seven or seven thirty.

Me and my team mates were already outside the pool when suddenly the rookies passed, some of the seniors tried to make fun at  them, we just laughed.  My four boys bid goodbye…and there was the ever sincere and amusing line “see yah at school” that I always found lovely.

Unexpectedly, the following noon at the cafeteria, where a number of the students raid the premises for good food, some good chats and loud giggles…I saw the boys again, they were as thunderous as I first met them, they were all smiles when they saw me, and I was surprised Ryan was with them, as it turned out, they happened to be classmates…but they looked like they were in a boy band ‘coz they definitely had the looks. They seemed cool and attractive. “Hey there’s our idol!” they screamed when they approached me…they looked like they were going to attack, my group were in shocked when this big bouncers came to me…it was unusual for us to witness such untamed acts in our world of appropriate conduct and intelligent monkeys. But I admit, I liked the attention, and was amused by the reactions on the faces of my intellectual peers. But what really stunned me was that behind the wild animals in front of me, Ryan was at the back, just smiling silently. When I noticed him he nodded and looked at me…still I thought there was something in him…I just said “Oh, your with them?”, “yah” he simply said…”Ok, see you later” then I smiled back at them and he never spoke of another word. The commotion ended at our table and continued all around the dining hall.

I knew my mates were curious by the look on their faces, “they’re rookies, the other one goes to Mrs. Strum with me, and their sophomores” I simply explained…I knew they were all familiar to them, but  they didn’t really  cared much.

Classes ended, another striving day for a Physics test, my classmates were estranged by  the seemingly unsolvable problem Mr. Antonio gave us, you just couldn’t imagine the look on our faces that afternoon, disappointed, and hopeless, that’s how conscious we were on our grades.

I went down to my locker, packed my large books , and at the hallway, I saw Ryan passed, he smiled…but my mind was too occupied, so I may have unintentionally ignored him…it was too late for me to realize It was kind of cruel,  but somehow I knew I did  the right thing.

It was a Wednesday so I needed to go to Mrs. Strum again, I saw Ryan with his friends downstairs, but I didn’t mind them, I had a lot on my mind, and needed the help of my genius tutor. I realized I needed to get back to being the geeky nerd who loves studying and stick with my smart friends instead of being the athlete.

I was already reviewing my notes, and contemplating on my possible failure in Physics…that was the only thing I could not seem to figure out amongst all the other subjects, which made it very frustrating, and I definitely blamed Mr. Antonio for making Physics the least interesting class, because probably, that’s the only excuse I could think of. Though I usually find myself and some of my classmates yawning, if not sleeping during his class. I know in my heart he’s a good teacher, but I guess Physics and I just aren’t meant to be.

Mrs. Strum was looking at my solutions, I knew that she knew it was a complex problem, because usually, if it’s easy, she’ll recognize what I’ve done wrong in a just a split of a second.

And I suddenly heard someone panting behind me…it was Ryan, “Are you ok?” said Mrs. Strum, “Yeah…just…catching…my breath…” he replied, “You’re late again” Mrs. Strum asked, “I know, I’m sorry” he said while sitting beside me, “You know the drill” said Mrs. Strum…so he did…I took a glance at him, just got curious of the panting, man he was totally sweating, I could feel the rush he’s gone through just to be on time. I found him funny, I mean, the thought that I saw him earlier and surely he got off from class the same as I did gave him no excuse to be late for our tutorial…well I didn’t bother to speculate. I just studied back and made sure I still got Mrs. Strum’s attention, I badly needed her. She got mad at me for being too stupid…well she usually did even with her other students, I just rarely got scolded ‘coz I usually get things right, though sometimes I tend to cheat just to get home early.

I finally got it, I was enlightened…that night I left Mrs. Strum and Ryan alone without giving them some treats, I guess I was too tired I just wanted to rest, I still had another test the following day, and of course, swimming practice.

Thursday…

My boys seemed to notice my lack of energy that afternoon, I knew I was, I couldn’t’ seem to take my mind away from the possibility of failing, I wasn’t used to that. They tried lifting me up, but I didn’t dare to notice at all, despite of their very lively attitudes. I dived in, and swam my worries away…the coldness of the water rushing through my body felt nice, it was another one of those “moments” where I didn’t mind the time, the speed, who’s ahead, I was just pacing, daydreaming.

Adam!! Coach Dominic called out, so I stopped and climbed up. He was about to give instructions. “Ok, prepare your team, we’re going to have a relay, use your specialty strokes”, everything got serious. I rushed towards JB, Joey, Skandar and David, told them the rules and told them what stroke each of them should use. In a swimming relay, all the members of a team must wait on each of the opposing lanes on a pool with another member waiting at the other side and using any chosen swimming stroke and immediately dives in and compete with the other teams to get to the other side first until the specified number of dives has been reached. Basically, it’s like a running relay.

  I knew they could do it. David was first to  dive, I heard some of the girls were screaming out his name as he stepped on the diving board, Coach blew the whistle and the rookies went in, some of them failed to do the right dive so some of us at the back laughed. Each of the leaders were cheering for his team, I shouted my team’s names and showed them the most overwhelming support a coach could give. They weren’t exactly on the lead, but they definitely not slowing down. Finally it was Joey’s turn, I was kind of nervous for him ‘coz in the group, he was kind of the “chubby” one, but I just prayed for the best and shouted his name so he could hear me even under water. I saw the clouds getting darker, the expressions on the other coaches’ face, and the cold wind moving the water…Joey was fast with his breast stroke, my heart was beating so loud I could hardly hear my own voice screaming. “Joey! Joey! Joey!!!” I cried out Loud…unfortunately he only finished fifth, of the seven teams, but I was still glad they were not last.

“Ok seniors, it’s your turn, this will be the final lap for today, so make sure you give your all, and choose your style” Coach Dominic said, I  looked at Liam, he looked back, I knew what he was thinking, we’re going to do breast stroke, it was our specialty. Aside from us growing together, we also trained together, we know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and most of the time, we go head to head.

 We climbed at the diving board, I prayed not to feel cold and numb, as I usually feel in competitions, I needed to be as flexible as I can. When at the diving board, nobody was talking, as if we weren’t friends, everyone’s eyes were focused on the other side, we stretched and relaxed ourselves, until coach gave the first signal, we bent down and got to our launching positions, a swimmer needs to have the right form, like a rocket to  be launched diagonally downwards. The right form, equates to the right amount of force, resulting to a massive velocity, this is where I apply the little things I learned in Physics.

Three…two…one…Coach blew his whistle, I did it, I just didn’t dive, I launched myself into the waters…I was submerged, blew my first bubbles and kicked hard in striding position, then finally I rose, gasp my first air and circled my hands towards my chest to paddle. The waters seemed heavier because of the waves dashing everywhere in the pool as eight swimmers race to the finish. Finally, I saw my competition, Liam was about a meter ahead of me, I knew what I had to do, I suspended myself into the water, held both of my hands forward and on top of my head, and I  swam underwater striding fast like a jet stream to catch up with Liam, and when I knew I had him, I changed back from my  super mode to my breast stroke, I knew I was ahead so I didn’t bother looking back, I was about a meter to touch the finish line, I could hear the people screaming and bOOM!! I touched the other side of the lane, I smiled and took my breath. Unfortunately, it turned out that Liam was able to catch up and we touched the finish at the same time, as usual. But we were happy as well.

In competitions, Liam would be the one to cry when he gets nervous, but still swims well, I however ends up being numb and turning into a heavy statue at the top of the diving board, usually leaving me with no medals at all. I rose up, and saw my boys congratulating me as if I had won on an official competition.

They were so happy for me “winning” that they asked me if I could go with them for dinner, It was after all already dark, around Seven I presumed well I  said yes. Liam went with his other friends, even though Liam and I grew up together, we sort of grown apart in high school, when he had his first girlfriend, and when I embraced my geeky side, if we were twins, he must be the cool one.

When we got out of the sports complex, we decided to walk our way to a nearby barbecue restaurant, I told them we weren’t suppose to eat rice, ‘coz it makes our body heavier, but they pleaded saying “Just for this time”, so I gave in anyway…we passed by the park, which seemed more magical at that night, it was my first time to pass by there where lanterns and colourful lights lit up the place, “It’s the town fiesta” I recalled…

It was then when I got to know the “boy band” better…I learned that JB and Joey has to commute daily as they reside about an hour away from the town…that Skandar’s family isn’t really from the valley, but was one of the most feared “clans” and David’s father works as a college professor in the University and that all of them live at the opposite direction as I did, so I thought I would go home alone after the dinner. But I was wrong…they insisted on walking me home, “We had to make sure you get home safe” JB joked, I thought he was the sweet one…but I was overwhelmed of their attention to me, I never had friends who  cared for me that much.

I don’t really know how I appealed to them, all I thought I was nothing special, well maybe because I usually gave  them advices taken from my own experiences…except love and girls because I’m sure they know a lot more about that than me, basically, I was more of like a brother to them, and they to me. They never failed to flatter me ever since that night.

Days passed…and “Parent’s Day” came, it’s a day in a year where the students are given the chance thank their parents in front of their  teachers, they write letters and give them cards or stuff.  After that, the teachers usually talk to the parents about their child’s class standing, and usually, more students get nervous than excited, including me. As ever, My parents were present, though I wished they weren’t so I didn’t have to be cheesy and all, but I had to. I gave them a card with a heart in front, I just bought it at a store and read the message on it out loud. I wasn’t that expressive of my emotions, especially the “love” stuff. I was the spoiled, hard headed black sheep of the family, I am the youngest though, that’s why I never liked myself.

           

After all the thank you being said, we were asked  to go out of the room so the teacher can have a private meeting with our parents and give them our grades, all my classmates were nervous, we feel each other, that’s how close we were. To relieve my tension, I decided to go to the toilet.

When I got out from the toilet, I saw my boys, JB, Skandar, Joey and David along the hall, Skandar was leaning on the white wall with sunrays touching his face, he looked cherubic with his tall structure. I greeted them “Hi, where are your parents?”, “Oh, they’re not here” Skandar said, I noticed the disappointment on his face, “Hey, Adam, can you do us a favour?” JB asked, “what” I replied, “Can you like, ask for our grades, since you’re our friend, and you’re a senior, maybe our teacher would give you our class ratings” Joey said, “Please Adam” David pleaded with puppy eyes, how could I have refused that…

“Well, ok, I’ll try” but I was positive I could get them, since I knew their teacher…I talked to her inside their room, and got out carrying their class cards where their grades were, it was disappointing though, they were mostly below average, a few Bs, more Cs and Ds, but they were glad and seemed satisfied with those grades…so I had nothing to worry about, except my own grades…

They thanked me and offered to treat me for lunch since they had no parents with them…But I said had to go back to my room first to know my grades…when I arrived, I already saw my parents outside the room carrying my class card, God they looked disappointed…I approached them, “You got a C- on Physics…” my mom said…that’s close to an F, I  thought, I asked for forgiveness and promised to do better next time, I know how much they have sacrificed just to pay for my school, my tutor, and my sport…I was guilty.

They immediately went down, “Are you coming?” My father said, with a slightly authoritative tone., Well he’s always like that. Despite of them being very gregarious towards people, what others don’t know is that they were solemn and deep people, they take almost everything seriously, that is why I usually locked myself in my bedroom where I had a T.V instead of staying outside where it was quite boring and we’d talk about the news or  the TV drama my mum watches every night.

“Hey pa, maybe you should go ahead, we  still have something to talk about a project” I couldn’t possibly told them that I would have lunch with some Sophomores…for the longest time all they know is that my only friends were my classmates whom I’ve been since I was in kindergarten”

I waited for them to get in the car first…when they did left, I went straight to our rendezvous…just at the lobby…so we had a very fascinating lunch, They bought sodas, and packed lunches, I thought we were going to go somewhere, but they decided to have lunch at the soccer field…they felt it was better…

So we went to the soccer field and had an interesting picnic under what seemed as a dead  tree at the corner of the dry field where we had the best view of the school…I felt at ease, and relieved from being a great disappointment…I heard small giggles, not the usual irritating cackles I usually hear when I’m with the boys…I also felt their discontent…but I know it wasn’t about their grades, I knew that somehow, they wanted their parents’ there, for moral support…we were eating, but it seemed though that the food didn’t taste good…it didn’t taste anything at all…there was something lacking…joy.

“So what’s up?” I noticed the silence…no one answered, so I began talking…’I got a C- in Physics, my parents were very disappointed”…Skandar followed by talking about his deepest feelings about his family…the remaining three seemed to contemplate on our sharing and expressed their thoughts as well…I never knew they had it in them…I never knew that these happy go lucky boys were capable of opening up…of jerking tears, of being sensitive…of being sweet.

We were already lying down as I try to cover the light of the sun with my fingers in front of my eyes...I looked around, there was no one there…except for the four boys lying beside me on the grass…I rose up, watched them sleeping as the sun illuminates their godlike figures, when Skandar suddenly talked with his eyes closed…

”Let’s form a clan, us, together…”

From that moment I knew I was already a part of something…

a family…one I could rely on…

Adamantine Myers: Chapter One

Uno

Killer Smile

            “Have you ever tried dipping your fingertips on ice cold water? That freezing sensation that runs from your fingers, to your shoulders, then suddenly your whole body starts shivering?”

 “I have…”

 “Only at this very moment, my whole body’s plunged in freezing water. I could hardly feel my hands nor flutter my feet to go up. But then I thought this might be a good thing,

 Because I was deeply aching inside,

 But still I was in fact, frozen numb, nearly…adamantine”

 It was just a dream… but I could hardly feel my toes as I tucked myself tighter in the blanket,  I could already smell the dawn of sunrise and the blossoming of morning dews…the memories of  my junior year flashed back as I rolled myself on the comfort of my bed…

 Six A.M…that’s when I usually wake up for school; it was a usual lazy morning, but I’ve got no choice, It was the first day to the last year of my High School life, and eventually, became the end of me. From my bed, I knew that year would be different, that I have to do things right, and that I have to make the most of my remaining time as a kid. I wanted to have fun, and I wanted to experience love.

 I walked out daydreaming, took a bath, changed to my uniform, had a little chat with my parents while having breakfast, and waited for Liam Voight, my friend next door who went to the same school with me, we basically grew up together. In school, I’m mostly outspoken, awkward, and usually misunderstood. It was only in college that I’ve accepted my individuality, who I really was. But I found it hard to fit in ‘coz I was different in so many ways.

 I went to a private High School in a small town called Crown Valley, the middle part of the island of Mindanao, it was surrounded by dark forests and misty mountains, we were, so to speak, almost isolated from the world, and although we don’t have much connections from outside the valley, we were economically stable and independent as most of the rich clans all around the Mindanao Archipelago chose to reside there, there were also speculations of wealthy criminals who prefer to hide at the quiet town in peace. The rich clans though discrete, remained very influential in the valley. Santi Sergio e Bacco Academy was the name of my school, (the name literally translates to Saints Sergius and Bacchus Academy) ran by conservative missionaries, we were raised to abide the traditional conducts of the catholic religion.

It was the first day of school, everyone was excited, some were just too overwhelmed with showing their new school supplies off, I preferred recycled stuff (I was an advocate of saving the World from human squandering) some acted as if they have never seen their friends for the longest time, I found it exaggerated…we were greeted by the lavish classic Greek inspired architecture and vast area of green field, “someone’s been cleaning” Liam said. We then parted and went to each others’ classes, I belonged to a special kind of class where the “nerds” were, little did we know were were regarded as “the geeks” in school, we really didn’t mind.

  I have been to that same school  since kindergarten, I only got in ‘coz my mother worked at the Town University as a trustworthy employee, no big deal for me, actually it was more of an advantage ‘coz my teachers knew her, and I get noticed, though I wasn’t the teachers’ pet. The disadvantage is, I have to act appropriately, one mistake could put my family’s name to shame, it was a small town after all, and everyone knew my family. It was hard to remain private; it was a struggle for me.

 More than half of my class belonged to the well known clans in our town, I supposed most of the kids at our school see them as the “geniuses”, but actually, they’re just some typical high school kids who love to joke around and make fun of themselves. All the while I thought I couldn’t ask for more, I loved literature and history, loathed Physics, became very active in school activities, and tried my best to get good grades, but still I felt out of place. I could see myself at the corner of the room listening to my own out of this world thoughts while the others are loud and laughing.

 The day started with the Principal, a missionary brother giving the freshmen and the rest of the school members his welcome message. The rest of the school year went by for me…went to class early, occasionally studied hard, attended swimming practices, went to the library to read fiction, talked to my friends (the geeks) then went to Mrs. Abigail Strum.

“There’s a secret part of me that only you knew,

You felt the pain inside of me, and in this moment of my life, I know that I miss you.

You left me without any reason,

You started ignoring this lonely person,

You were my only friend, my salvation…

Maybe you got tired of my exaggerated confessions”

–Excerpts from the Emo Book

 Every afternoon, when I have no swimming practice, I carry my heavy backpack to the University where my tutor, Mrs. Abigail Strum meets me and about five other students and sometimes on weekends if she thinks there’s a need to. Mrs. Strum, a friend of my mother, is probably the smartest person I’ve ever met, aside from being a Physics Professor, she teaches us Trigonometry, Chemistry and English, she also knows the latest gossip, and the most controversial issues in show business. She also probably knows most of the people in town, well, maybe at her old age, she knows a lot. She’s also the strictest mentor I’ve ever had, and also the most fun, there’s not a boring moment with her around ‘coz she’ll definitely stick a toothpick in your eyes to stop you from feeling drowsy. She did help me a lot.

It was through her how I met Ryan Allaster, a sophomore then, and a competitive martial artist. Actually, we’ve been schoolmates ever since, I just don’t talk to other kids at school that much, I’m just too contented with the kids I’ve been with my whole life. Well, what can I say, the first meeting was awkward, it was supposed to be a one on one session with me and Mrs. Strum.

 It was a warm Monday afternoon in August when I came to see her at her room on the sixth floor of the university’s science building, I laid down my books, we talked for awhile, and she gave me some instructions regarding my homework. Suddenly… he came in with heavy steps, and a heavy bag. It was already around Six in the evening, and sessions starts at Four Thirty, we were at the sixth floor so I could hear him catching his breath when he approached. “ Seat Down and lay your books and notes at the Desk” said Mrs. Strum, I noticed his presence but I was busy answering my Physics homework, plus I was little bit annoyed with his pounding steps and exaggerated breathing that I prefer to ignore him. I was a little introvert that I intend to be a snob than socialize. It was a safe choice to act like I didn’t care.

 I couldn’t help but to raise my head and look at Mrs. Strum while babbling at her new student, she was just too loud, so I rolled my eyes and looked at the boy laying his things on the desk and eventually sat next to me. He was smiling, no, it was an eerie smile, it was a grin, he was grinning while Mrs. Strum continues to babble. I looked at him, he looked at me, I studied his face as he wipes it with a white handkerchief, he looked a little bit mature for his age, I would describe it as edgy, not because it was rough, actually it was smooth despite the shaved traces of facial hair, but he had this strong impression on me, one that you could never forget, A lightning volt struck me, and flowed through him. I got connected, electrocuted.

Then I rolled my eyes and went back to my homework. I was a little intimidated. Too bad I was almost done; he on the other hand was still reading his notes to Mrs. Strum. She noticed I have started packing my things, “Finished Mr. Myers?” she said, “yes Madam”, I replied, “just wait for awhile and we’ll go over your homework later, check it twice if you may, I don’t want to be the one answering your homework” she smothered.

 While waiting, I decided to buy a snack downstairs at the cafeteria, the University was big, one could easily get lost, but I’m exceptionally familiar with the place, since my mum works there. Some Lights had already been turned off, it was already around seven so the halls looked scary, fortunately I arrived at the cafeteria and they were just starting to clean the place up. I bought three of my favourite vanilla filled chocolate cookies, one for me, one for Mrs. Strum, and one for the boy. Mrs. Strum forgot to introduce us, maybe she assumed we already know each other, so I thought I’d introduce myself by giving him a cookie.

 I returned to the sixth floor, handed Mrs. Strum the cookie, she said “Thank you” and smiled graciously as she always does when I Give her something, and handed the cookie to the boy...”Oh Adam, this is Ryan, you two know each other?” she asked, “No” I simply said…the boy said thanks with a slight movement of his mouth. It was close to a smile. It may have seemed too awkward for him that he didn’t even look at me, or maybe because like me, he was intimidated, or shy…maybe he was just shy, I assumed.

 “Alright, let’s see your work” Mrs. Strum reminded, I forgot to check my answers, so I hoped that she wouldn’t scream at me. “WhaAAAt is this???” and she did, “This isn’t the correct equation, go over that again, how am I supposed to check that, you didn’t listen to your teacher again didn’t you?” her voice could probably be overheard downstairs, to think we’re on the sixth floor…”That’s why I have a tutor so I won’t be worried if I didn’t listen” I whispered, Ryan giggled softly, he must’ve heard my silent whim.

It was already Eight Forty Five, I glanced at my watch…there was silence in the room, Ryan was still answering when… “So you’ve finished your homework”, Mrs. Strum took my paper, and skimmed my solutions, “that’s correct, now we may go” she said, “Huh?” Ryan raised his head with a slight confusion on his face…”finish that at home and don’t be late next time” Mrs. Strum told him. So I packed my heavy thick books, so did Mrs. Strum and Ryan, Turned the lights off, and closed the classroom door. We only saw a few lighted rooms that night, but we could hardly see the steps on the stairs, but as I always did, I assisted the old woman down. Mrs. Strum kept asking about how Ryan’s mother and his other relatives our doing, that’s typical of her to pry, Ryan spoke in a soft brisk voice, and he smiled at every remark…

 I could not help but to look at him again, he must have at least an American blood, his hair was clean cut and dark, but kind of curly, his eyes are Asian, sharp at both ends, and he had a fair skin, while I looked more Asian, my mother’s Chinese, and my father has Spanish blood…that’s typical in the Philippines, to have both Spanish and Asian traces on our appearance… 

He was about a few inches taller than me, 5’8 maybe, you could tell he was serious about martial arts through his bulked body…anyway, he seemed to notice me staring, so I looked away, I must admit I was a little bit intimidated or fascinated, I was the total opposite of him, fair skinned, a little bit shorter than him, but I liked my body, I usually spent half of the week swimming so I thought I  was fit, but normally I looked pale and sickly, well I was allergic to a lot of things, even the sudden change of temperature could trigger my allergic reactions, that’s why I chose swimming, ‘coz it’s the only sport where I did’t have to worry about rapid  temperature changes. My body prefers the constant cold from the water.

As we approached the gates, I noticed him glance and smile…of course I smiled back, I thought if we were going to have the same schedule with Mrs. Strum, I might as well be friendly. After all, he seemed harmless.

   Outside we saw Mr. Strum in his old car, he was waiting for our tutor, so Ryan and I bid Mrs. Strum goodbye, she looked at us and said “Go home safe and be there on Wednesday” (We had an M-W-F and Saturday night schedule). Ryan and I were already alone. I asked him first, since I was the senior, “so where do you live?”, “at St. Michael’s” he answered, “oh, that’s the opposite direction to mine, I live in the suburbs, so you go ahead” I told him commandingly. As we parted, he waved and said “alright, thank you and take care, bye” with another sweet smile and beaming eyes…he doesn’t talk much…but when he does, I felt the sincerity and seriousness of his soul. I was almost attached to him…I waved back and bid him goodbye.

The night turned cold and darker, then I realized I was walking along the pavements alone again, another one of those melancholic moments I usually have. I was thinking of the things I could have had, and that as I was close to the end of my teenage life, I still haven’t found myself yet, where I belong…and I was still longing for someone to be with me. Shallow desires. Unfortunately I went home alive.

 I jumped in to my bed and hoped to fall asleep. I thought of him for a while, his killer smile just flashed back into my mind, I couldn’t seem to figure out what was in him that interested me, but there was definitely something…